Good Old Supreme Court Rescues Mankind

by Myron Pauli

Posted June 19, 2005

Sally Perkins, 80, a cancer patient in Merced, California has had to stop smoking her home grown marijuana that she was using to mitigate the side effects of the chemotherapy that she was taking. Because of the Supreme Court decision, she has had to stop using the marijuana and now vomits several times each day. However, she is accepting her fate. "I never knew that I was interfering with all that interstate commerce," said Mrs. Perkins, "or I would have stopped the marijuana a long time ago. Land sakes, I don't want to tie up traffic!" She said that she can live with the vomiting and the pain but that she no longer giggles when watching The News Hour with Jim Lehrer.

Truck driver Jose Rodriguez, who drives grapefruit from Florida to Boston, agrees with the Court. "Sally was smoking some powerful weed and that aroma came out East to I-95 and snarled up the traffic here big time. I can get my load North in one day less now that she stopped her habit."

Other observers also agreed with the Supreme Court decision. For example, it has been pointed out that Mussolini had the trains running on time, and they didn't have medical marijuana in Fascist Italy.

Another impact has occurred in the commercial marijuana market, as predicted by the Supreme Court Justice Stevens As he put it, "it is whether Congress' power to regulate interstate markets for medicinal substances encompasses the portions of those markets that are supplied with drugs produced and consumed locally." CVS Pharmacy stated that it sold zero California marijuana the previous week but that, as a result of the Supreme Court decision, the sales went up tenfold to zero. Economists are now trying to calculate the international impact of stopping home grown and home consumed marijuana in California will have on the economies of developing nations such as India and China.

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